Before We Say Goodbye

  Before We Say Goodbye

  By Michelle Pennington

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Epilogue

  Copyright © 2019 by Michelle Pennington

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.

  Michelle Pennington

  P.O. Box 54

  Hartford, AR 72764

  www.michelle-pennington.com

  Publisher’s note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locals is completely coincidental.

  If you want more sweet romances, join my newsletter at www.michelle-pennington.com and get the latest on all upcoming releases.

  Chapter One

  When you’re a senior in high school, the end of May means the end of a lot of other things. School, sports, clubs, routines—everything that made life normal and safe. And at the end of the summer, I was going to have to say goodbye to the only things left that I cared about—my mom and my friends.

  Nothing brings that home more than sitting in graduation listening to speech after speech about everything changing and what we should do with the rest of our lives. Sadie Davenport was one of my best friends, but her speech as valedictorian still freaked me out.

  “This time can never be gotten back,” she said. “You only get one chance to be eighteen with the rest of your life in front of you. So, don’t screw it up.”

  Gee, thanks, Sadie. No pressure.

  My stomach clenched. I still had eight days until my birthday, but now it seemed like a much bigger deal than it had before. All at once, I didn’t notice the humid Florida heat about to vaporize me in my polyester graduation robe or care that my sparkly heels kept sticking in the turf of our high school football field or mind the wind blowing my long, brown hair into my face so that it stuck in my lip gloss. No. All I could think about was that I had one summer—one last summer—before I left Grand View and lived the rest of my life regretting how big of a chicken I was.

  Then everyone stood up around me and it was time to graduate.

  Luckily Ridge was behind me when my heels did, in fact, get stuck mid-step, nearly making me fall just as I got to the front of the line. He grabbed the back of my robe and kept me from face planting onto the steps up to the platform. That was sort of how my life went and my friends were all used to it. He didn’t even tease me because it was so normal. Who was going to save me from disaster when they weren’t around anymore?

  Oh no. I wasn’t going to panic. Breathe. Walk. Smile.

  “Katriel Pearson.”

  Shake the principle’s hand and get off the stage again. Breathe. Walk. Smile.

  After our turn, we were supposed to loop around all the chairs set up in front of the stage and back to our seat. As I went around, a fake diploma in my sweaty hand, my friend Piper’s family called to me from the fence that skirted the edge of the field. They must not have gotten there in time to get seats in the bleachers, which was typical for them.

  “Yay, Katie-Bug! You did it,” Piper’s mom called. The nickname that wouldn’t die.

  “Congrats, Katriel,” her dad said, a wide smile stretched across his eternally sun-burned face.

  But then there was Tate, Piper’s older brother—looking like a golden sun god with sun-bleached hair, broad, work-hardened shoulders, eyes like deep water, and a glinting smile that always gave me a bubbly, sugar-high kind of zing. “Yeah, way to not crash and burn out there, Kat. Good thing Ridge was there.”

  I stopped and glared at him, nearly making Ridge bump into me from behind. But with his usual grace, Ridge barely brushed against my shoulder as he side-stepped around me. But I wasn’t about to let Tate get away with smack-talk, even during my graduation. In full view of hundreds of people, I took off one of my glitter-covered heels and threw it over the fence, right at Tate’s head.

  Which meant I actually hit him in the shoulder, but I was okay with that. “Since you’re so worried about me, hold onto these for a while.” His startled expression only lasted until I threw the second one, which he caught easily while laughing at me.

  There was nothing else to do but walk away barefoot with as much pride as I could and squeeze through to my assigned spot again.

  Of course Tate had to be there to see that. And of course he had to tease me like I was a child. To him, I always had been and always would be.

  Well, Sadie was right. I would never get this summer back and Tate would always be the chance I never took.

  ***

  After each of us had celebrated with our families, my friends and I headed out to Maravilla Beach for our own party. The twins, Zane and Cooper, had gotten a permit to build a bonfire on the beach, and it was going to be the kick off for all of our summer plans. In just a few days, our town would be invaded by tourists, but for tonight, we had empty stretches of beach on either side of us.

  I still felt weirdly depressed about everything—something I hadn’t expected. Wasn’t graduation supposed to be a celebration? Everyone else was acting like it was. Me? I just sat in my beach chair, staring into the fire, and eating way too many Red Vines. Maybe I should get up and play in the surf with the others.

  “Kat, come on! I swear I won’t throw you in,” Zane called.

  He totally would. “I’m good,” I called, waving a Red Vine at him. He shrugged and turned back to splashing Piper. Those two were always annoying each other.

  Maybe I could spend the whole summer eating candy and finally grow more than just a starter-set of curves. My mom kept assuring me that she didn’t get a bigger chest until she had me, so I still had time. She apparently didn’t realize how depressing that sounded.

  Before I had a chance to feel too sorry for myself, Piper came over to sit by me, plopping down on the sand and digging her toes in deep. “I’m mad at you.”

  “Why?”

  “Cuz you threw your shoes at Tate and I didn’t even get to watch. The most epic thing ever—everyone is talking about it—and I didn’t even get to see it.”

  “Great. Why does he always make me act crazy?”

  “He’s a giant turd, that’s why.” She helped herself to my Red Vines. “Oh, and he says he’s keeping your shoes by the way.”

  “I’ll get them back,” I said, completely confident that I could do so. Tate worked long days for his Dad’s fishing charter business so I would have easy access to his room. I was spending the night with Piper. “If he wants heels so bad, I’m sure his current bimbo can give him a pair of hers.”

  “Ugh, don’t get me started.” Piper hated his girlfriends as much as I did. It was definitely one thing we had in common, though she didn’t have a clue
what motivated my dislike. “I have no idea why he wastes his time when he knows he’s going to get tired of them in a week or two—or even days when they’re tourists.”

  Feeling more bitter even than usual, I shrugged. “Maybe he has a point. I mean, dating must be easier when the breakup part doesn’t even bother you. Maybe that’s my problem.”

  Piper laughed. “You? How could you have a problem with dating when you never do it?”

  “I’d call that a problem. Wouldn’t you?”

  “Wait. Wait. You want to date?”

  Leaning my head back against my seat, I watched sparks from the fire fly up toward the moon. They were beautiful against the black sky and scattering of white stars. But mostly I was just trying to keep Piper from watching my expression too closely. “Of course I do. I mean, I’m about to turn eighteen and I’ve never even kissed anyone.”

  “Uh, wow.” She put her hand to her mouth and yelled across the beach. “Sadie! Liv! Get your butts over here!”

  I groaned, low and long. “Does everyone have to know?”

  She laughed, completely unrepentant. “Come on, Kat. They’re your friends.”

  Sadie and Olivia ran over immediately.

  “What’s up?” Sadie asked, leaning over us.

  “Kat has a major issue we need to get solved stat,” Piper said, dramatic as always. “Ladies, it’s time to get her kissed.”

  Liv laughed and dropped onto the sand. “I can call Zane over here. He’d kiss you.”

  I winced. “No thanks. It would be like kissing my brother.”

  “Agreed,” Piper said, all business now that she had a big enough audience. “Kat’s first kiss can’t be with just anyone. It has to be memorable.”

  Sadie’s mouth twisted up in a smirk. “Like yours was? With that jerk-wad who kissed you behind the dumpster at summer camp?”

  “Yeah, well, if your first kiss happens when you’re twelve, it’s going to suck. But Kat will get hers from someone who knows what they’re doing.”

  I’d always heard that fluttery sensation you get in your stomach described as “butterflies”, but that was too nice a word for this. “But I won’t know what I’m doing. And he’ll know it.”

  Liv, who was as quiet as usual, spoke up. “I haven’t kissed anybody before either.”

  There was a long moment of silence as we all stared at her.

  Piper was the most shocked. And with reason. While the rest of us were pretty enough, Olivia was gorgeous—seriously…I had no idea why she wasn’t modeling or something. And the guys definitely noticed too. But Liv kind of lived in her own oblivious world and didn’t have much to do with them, so maybe that made sense.

  Sadie was the first to speak. “Well, as long as we’re confessing—”

  Throwing her hand out toward Sadie’s face, Piper yelled over her, “No. Don’t say it. Do. Not. Say it.”

  “I’ve never kissed anyone either,” Sadie finished.

  Piper curled up, burying her face in her knees as she pulled them toward her chest. She shook her head back and forth, tossing her mass of blonde waves as if this were some kind of tragedy.

  “Pipes, come on,” I said. “It’s not that big of a deal. Just because you kissed every guy at Grand View High doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us.”

  Sadie let out a crack of laughter while Liv smirked and said, “No, more like there’s something wrong with her.”

  Looking up at that, Piper said, “Not every guy. Come on. Give me some credit.”

  “Okay, okay,” I said. “You haven’t kissed any of those five dufuses over there.”

  We all looked at our guy friends, who at that moment were lined up in the surf up to their knees, their backs to us.

  “What are they doing?” Sadie asked.

  “Twenty bucks says they’re having a peeing contest,” Liv said in her driest tone.

  We all made “Ewwww” sounds as we realized she was probably right.

  “Let’s focus,” Piper said, pulling our attention back. “We are all eighteen—”

  “Almost,” I said.

  “And just graduated,” she continued as if I hadn’t interrupted her. “And three out of the four of us have never kissed anyone. How did this happen? I mean, Sadie, you’ve dated before. And you took Brent Larson to prom.”

  “Doesn’t mean I kissed him.”

  Piper was about to explode. “That was Brent Larson, Sadie. He’s…I mean—oh, you know what I mean.”

  “A flirt? Yeah, I was surprised at how uninterested I was when he tried it. I mean, shouldn’t I want to kiss a guy that hot?”

  “Yes. You should.” Piper stood up and walked around the fire, choking as she got a face full of smoke when the wind changed directions. When she could breathe again, she said. “Okay, we have to do something about this. This summer cannot end until each and every one of you have been kissed. And I’m going to make sure it happens.”

  I stayed silent as Liv and Sadie argued with her.

  That was pretty much how I lived my life. Staying silent. Not telling my mom that I didn’t want to go to the University of Florida even though I’d been accepted there. Not telling Piper I had a crush on her brother because it would completely freak her out and screw up our friendship. And definitely not telling Tate that he was the reason I’d never been interested in any other guy. Because as much as he annoyed me and treated me like a second little sister, I couldn’t help but… yearn is a stupid word, but there wasn’t a better one. Yes, I yearned for Tate to see me differently and want me back.

  But again, that would have required me not being a mute chicken who kept all my desires locked inside where they didn’t cause problems.

  Chapter Two

  I swear Piper could sleep through a hurricane. And obviously, she could sleep through the thunderstorm that was currently booming over the roof of her parent’s house.

  But I couldn’t.

  Feeling achy and bleary-eyed after a long night of Piper’s planning, I rolled off the edge of her queen-sized bed—on which I only got about six inches of space because she slept like she was making snow angels all night—and stumbled into her bathroom. I managed to stub my toe on the door frame, but even my yelp of pain didn’t wake her up. Well, that was fine. I had things to do this morning. Namely, getting my shoes back from Tate.

  I took my time in the bathroom though, peeing, brushing my teeth and putting my hair up in a slightly less messy bun. After all, Tate was never around in the mornings anymore now that he worked as first mate on their dad’s charter fishing boat.

  Leaving Piper to enjoy her sleep-in, I walked down the hall to Tate’s room. There was vague talk of him moving out soon and getting an apartment, but he’d been working for the last year since he graduated to save money. Suited me fine because it meant I still got to see him sometimes. Not as much as before when we’d all been in school together, but I’d take anything I could get.

  Tate’s room smelled like him. It hit me as soon as I opened the door…a sort of breezy scent like the ocean combined with clean cotton and the three-in-one body wash he used. Tate was a no-frills kind of guy.

  His bed wasn’t made, but otherwise, the room was really neat. He had a big flat screen television that hung on the wall over his desk with different gaming consoles. A tall bookcase held different book series he’d read—some of which I’d borrowed from him—and a few of the big Lego sets he’d put together and not let Piper and I help with. The jerk.

  I could have spent hours in here, looking at all the things that meant something to him and trying to figure out what they all meant, but I was determined that I was not going to become a crazy stalker. I was in here for one reason and one reason only. My shoes. And they weren’t hard to find. They were perched on top of his bookshelf between the Lego Star Wars Millennium Falcon and a baseball trophy.

  Now how the heck was I going to get them down?

  Looking around, there was only one option. I grabbed his desk chair, rolled it ov
er to the bookcase, and carefully stepped up onto the seat. I wasn’t completely stupid though. I knew it was going to spin on me, which is why I didn’t straighten up right away but kept a tight hold on the back of the seat. Sure enough, as soon as I had both feet up, it started spinning around. No big deal. I’d just let it turn and then grab onto the bookcase to stop it when I came back around.

  At just the right time, I reached up and grabbed a shelf, stopping the motion of the chair.

  “Hah,” I said, triumphantly. Then I eased my other hand up from the seat back onto the shelf and managed to keep the chair steady. I was getting somewhere now. I reached for the next shelf up, one hand at a time, and was standing almost completely upright where I could grab the shoes when my balance shifted unexpectedly and the chair turned again. I just needed some music and I would have looked like a belly-dancer with the way my hips were twisting as I tried to get the chair under control again.

  “What the—?” Tate’s voice boomed as loud as the thunder had earlier.

  I tried looking around at him, but that proved to be a fatal mistake as it threw off the delicate balance I’d achieved. The chair nearly twisted me in half as I clung tightly to the shelf, yelping in terror, sure I was about to crash to the floor.

  But then a strong arm grabbed me around the waist. I only had three seconds to enjoy the weightless thrill of Tate holding me before he dropped me on his bed. It was soft—memory foam, nice!—but it was still jarring to be thrown on it. I tried to sit up immediately, but my head swam so I fell back again just short of hitting his pillow. I stared up at his ceiling fan as the realization of precisely how embarrassing this was rushed over me.

  Tate leaned over the bed, bracing himself on his fists and looked down at me. “You are the last person who should try using a swivel chair for a step stool.”

  The fact that he was right didn’t mean I was going to agree with him. “What are you doing here?”

  He raised an eyebrow at me. “This is my room, remember?”

  “That’s not what I meant. Why aren’t you on the boat?”