Before It's Love Read online

  “It’s not because I want to,” I said. “I can’t afford to eat-out. Or buy many groceries. Which is why I need to get a job as soon as I can.”

  “That shouldn’t be too hard. There’s lots of fast food places around here that are always hiring.”

  “Yeah, but I’ll have to find a place that will work with my class schedule.”

  “No problem. They have to be used to that being so close to the college. Tell you what, how about if I take you to get a snow cone after the movie? There’s a place down the street with great ice, and I have a punch card I can redeem for a free one.”

  I smiled at him, thrilled. “Yes. That would be awesome.”

  “Cool. Okay, let’s get this thing going.”

  I ate quickly, then Nick pulled me tight against his side and put his arm around me. I didn’t feel any butterflies or electricity, but it was nice to be wanted, so I snuggled in. The movie was a stupid alien invasion remake so it didn’t hold my interest. In fact, I nearly fell asleep. But just as I was drifting off, Natalie came home.

  Curious, I sat up and turned to look over the back of the couch. “How’d it go?”

  She shrugged and set the picnic basket down. “Oh, fine I guess. He was surprised, but there was this girl there. She wouldn’t leave, even though it was obvious we wanted to be alone. She just sat there doing sketches or something. And she kept asking for his help. I mean, no wonder Jake acted so annoyed the whole time. She just wouldn’t take a hint. Next time I need to surprise him at his apartment.”

  “Next time?” I asked, surprised.

  “Yeah. Maybe next week.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Nick said, grinning. “Definitely don’t wait for him to ask you out.”

  “Shut up,” Natalie said.

  Nick turned to me. “I don’t know why she’s wasting so much time on this guy. He’s obviously not interested in getting serious, but she just won’t give up.”

  “It’s just hard because he has two careers and I’m busy with mine too,” she argued.

  “Or, he’s a player. I mean, look, he was flirting with Lauren at the pool that one day, even though he knew she was taken, and now there’s this other chick at the school.”

  Natalie scowled. “You’re just blowing things out of proportion.”

  Nick and Natalie were always fighting like this. It was normal since they were only two years apart. I fought with my brothers too and knew that a few minutes from now, they’d be super close again. But the things Nick was saying about Jake really bothered me. Was he a player? Is that why he was so…magnetic?

  Now I felt more stupid for being attracted to him and feeling special when he smiled at me. Not only did I have a boyfriend, but no doubt he made every girl feel like she had a close connection with him. Then, I realized Nick and Natalie were both looking at me as if they were waiting for me to say something.

  “What?”

  Natalie gave an annoyed sigh. “I asked what you think of Jake.”

  “Me?” There was no way I was getting dragged into this discussion. Especially with waves of confusion and guilt and jealousy churning inside me. “I want a snow cone. Come on, Nick. This is a stupid movie. Let’s go now.”

  Nick laughed and turned off the movie. “Fine. I can finish it later. You want to come, Nat?”

  “No. Those things are pure sugar.”

  “Exactly,” I said. “I could use something sweet right about now.”

  Chapter Ten

  Jake

  As I dismissed my 2D Design class on Friday, I wondered what was wrong with me. A twenty-five-year-old college professor and owner of a graphic design company should be able to keep it together better than this. Yet here I was, desperate to figure out why Lauren hadn’t come in to do homework in my classroom yesterday. Instead I’d ended up with two girls I was completely uninterested in, who glared at each other for an hour until I could shake them both off.

  I now knew the blue-haired girl’s name—McKenzie. Hopefully, if nothing else, she’d think I had a girlfriend. The only reason I’d been able to endure Natalie’s surprise “picnic” was the hope it would make McKenzie lose interest. But the whole time they were glaring at each other like two cats who wanted the same sardine, I thought of how different things had been with Lauren.

  Watching her sink into her own world as she drew or painted was fascinating. She was fascinating. I found myself wanting to know everything about her, and making her smile had become a daily ambition. And for the most part, she seemed totally oblivious to the fact that I was growing more and more attracted to her. It irked me.

  So of course, as I walked to my office after my last class, I was dwelling on what the chances were that she would come today—obsessing really. Then I froze as I passed Rossi’s office and heard her voice through the open door.

  “I promise I can handle it.”

  “I don’t know. It’s going to be hard, physical work sometimes.”

  “Believe me, I’m tougher than I look.”

  Curiosity turned me around. I leaned inside with my hands propped on either side of the doorframe. The movement caught Lauren’s attention and her eyes shifted to me, widening slightly before dropping to the floor momentarily.

  “Oh, hi,” she said, finally looking at me again.

  “Hey. What’s going on?” I asked.

  “This young lady is applying for the studio assistant position we posted.”

  I looked at her sharply and caught the blush that briefly flooded her face, lending a note of vulnerability to the stubborn set of her mouth.

  Mr. Chavez was there too, seated in a cluttered corner of the office. He nodded at me and said, “We are only concerned because of the physical requirements of the job.”

  My thoughts raced as I stepped further inside and crossed my arms over my chest. They had discussed the position with me before. The school janitors were throwing a fit about how hard it was to clean the building. We needed someone to do all the grunt work of moving model platforms, setting up lights, scraping paint, and more. But that wasn’t the only reason I hesitated to give an opinion. The job would put her in the art building so much more. Could I handle it?

  “I have to agree. I’m not sure it’s a good idea either.”

  Lauren shot an angry look at me and turned her back to me. Facing the other two men, she said, “Please give me a chance. I promise I can do it.”

  “We’ll keep you in mind, but we’re going to wait to interview other applicants before we decide.” Rossi dropped his pen on his desk. “We’ll let you know early next week.”

  Lauren nodded, but her voice sounded tight as she said, “Thank you.”

  I stepped back to let her pass by me, feeling a tightness in my chest when she didn’t so much as look at me. Shutting Rossi’s office door, I called after her. “Lauren.” When she kept walking, I raised my voice and said, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  She stopped, but didn’t turn around. A few seconds later, she turned, but still didn’t make eye contact. I walked ahead and opened the door of my office, knowing this wasn’t going to be fun.

  She walked in and took her backpack off and sat in a chair, her posture stiff.

  “Why do you want this job so bad?” I asked.

  “I need the money.”

  “There have to be dozens of other places to get a job.”

  “But if I work right here in the art building, I’ll be able to spend more time in the studio.”

  “I’m sorry, but it just wouldn’t work out.”

  Her eyes flashed with anger. “You don’t know that.”

  “I can guess. I know what it entails, and frankly…”

  “You don’t think I’m strong enough. But I am. Why are you always messing things up for me?”

  I looked at her, trying to decide how to answer, and got lost in her cinnamon-sugar eyes. Shaking it off, I said, “I’m just thinking of you. You’d hate it.”

  Standing, she squared up to me. The top of her h
ead just reaching my collar bone, but she still managed to look fierce with her lips clamped tightly together and her eyes boring into mine. “That’s not your decision to make.”

  I shrugged. “It is, actually. Partly anyway. Rossi, Chavez, and I have to agree.”

  “I’ll arm wrestle you for it.”

  Surprised, my eyebrows shot up and I sputtered, “What? Are you serious?”

  “As a heart attack. Come on.”

  “Lauren, there’s no way you can beat me.”

  “Maybe not, but it’s not like I’m going to get the job anyway. At least if I can beat you, you can’t say I’m not strong enough for it.”

  I chuckled and gave in, following her over to my desk where we sat on opposite sides. She planted her elbow and opened her hand, waiting for me to take my position. I did so, and her fingers slid into mine. I felt her smooth skin and small calluses as her palm pressed to mine. The contact sent a fire down my arm like sparks falling from a sparkler. It jolted me to my core, and it was nearly my undoing. In the instant I gripped her hand, she torqued her arm, nearly slamming mine all the way down. Exerting all my strength, I barely managed to stop the downward momentum. A scant inch from the desk, and with all the leverage to her advantage, I fought back.

  And so, I discovered that Lauren was freakishly strong for a girl. I pushed back, centimeter by centimeter until finally I got a good angle and could gain the advantage. It was over quickly then, but as we sat across from each other, both of us breathing hard and Lauren rubbing her shoulder, there was no doubt she’d won my respect if nothing else.

  “You’re sneaky, but I have to give you props anyway,” I said, reluctantly releasing her hand.

  She stood and picked up her backpack. “I’d rather have the job.” And then she left.

  All the energy seemed to have been sucked out of the room. I leaned back in my chair and smiled up at the ceiling. What a strange way to hold hands for the first time.

  Chapter Eleven

  Lauren

  After losing my arm wrestling challenge, all I wanted was comfort. I dropped my keys on the counter and went straight to the pantry. Grabbing my jar of peanut butter and a spoon, I twisted off the lid. Unfortunately, it was almost empty. Even the sides were scraped clean. Well, I had been living on it for a week. That and eggs and toast. Since the art department job was clearly not going to happen, I needed to start looking elsewhere.

  Beth came in just as I licked the little bit I’d been able to scrape off the bottom.

  “Hey girl! You look like your day could have been better.”

  “That’s for sure.”

  Beth took a nearly empty milk jug out of the fridge and poured the last of it into a glass. “What happened?”

  “Oh, I tried to arm wrestle Jake for a job.”

  She choked on her milk, spewing some out of her mouth. I grabbed her some paper towels, and helped her clean up, smiling as I realized it was kind of funny.

  When she could talk again, Beth said, “Okay, I want the full story.”

  I told her what happened and couldn’t help grumbling at the end, “Seriously, would it hurt him to help me out?”

  “Why do you want the job so bad?”

  “Because I’d get to pick my own hours, and I could stay after and work on my paintings. Plus, I’d get to work somewhere I’m happy. Now I’ll likely get a job that will make it hard for me to get any extra time in the studio.” I looked down at my empty peanut butter jar. “But I don’t have a choice now.”

  “I’m sorry. Maybe they’ll still hire you.”

  I shook my head. “There’s no way.”

  “Well, you can’t keep moping around here.” She held up her empty milk jug. “Clearly you need to go to the grocery store as bad as I do. Want to come with me?”

  My funds were definitely running low, but I had to eat. Hopefully I could get a job before I had to ask my parents for money. “Sure. Let’s go.”

  Beth drove us to the store a few blocks away. When we got inside, she grabbed a shopping cart, but as I followed behind her, a sign on the bulletin board caught my attention.

  “You go ahead. They have a part-time job open. I’m going to go ask someone about it.”

  “Okay,” Beth said. “I’ll probably be in the ice cream section.”

  A short conversation with the store manager dashed my hopes. The shift they needed to fill was a morning one that wouldn’t work with my class schedule. With the college just down the street, all their later shifts had been filled for weeks.

  Disappointed, I grabbed a basket and went to find Beth. On my way to the freezer section, I grabbed another jar of peanut butter, some ramen noodles, and a box of raisins. My mom would die if she knew this was all I was eating.

  Beth was not in the ice cream aisle, but I walked down it anyway, drooling over cartons of sweet bliss. One glance at the prices, though, made it clear I shouldn’t indulge. But maybe if I bought some of the cheap brand and only ate a little at a time, I could swing it.

  I heard someone behind me and automatically moved out of their way. But then I saw it was Jake. He smiled like nothing weird had just happened between us at the school. All I could do was stand there, mute and blushing.

  “Sometimes it’s hard to choose, huh?”

  “Yeah,” I managed to say, brilliantly.

  “I’m a plain chocolate kind of guy. What about you?”

  I hesitated, but he seemed to be trying to smooth things between us, so I said, “I like the peanut butter with fudge ripples.”

  Jake raised his eyebrows and whistled, “You don’t mess around.”

  Shrugging, I said, “I know what I like.”

  “Do you though?” Jake asked, his voice more serious.

  With my eyebrows drawn together, I tilted my head and studied him.

  “Funny finding you two together,” Beth said, coming up behind me.

  “Why’s that?” Jake asked.

  “No reason,” she said, directing her reply just to him. “Except that Lauren seemed pretty mad at you earlier.”

  “Beth, stop,” I said in a pleading whisper, but she ignored me.

  “I heard she almost beat you in arm wrestling.”

  “Only because she started before I was ready.”

  My mouth fell open. “I did not. You grabbed hold of my hand. Where I come from, that’s the signal to start.” Beth’s burst of laughter jarred me out of my argument. “What?”

  “He was probably just excited to hold your hand.”

  I glanced at Jake and saw that he was the one glaring now. Time to get out of here. “I’ve got everything I need, Beth. Ready to go?”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Jake’s face as he glanced between the few things in my basket and Beth’s, which was full of chips, soda, milk, and other things I couldn’t afford. The crease between his eyebrows was disconcerting. I grabbed the front of Beth’s cart and pulled it forward. “Come on, Beth.”

  She laughed even more and waved to Jake. “I guess we’re going.”

  “But you didn’t get your ice cream,” Jake called after us.

  “I don’t have a job, remember? Until I do, I’ll just have to do without.” Then, hoping he’d feel guilty, but not wanting to actually discuss it, I pulled Beth’s cart around the corner.

  As we checked out, Beth kept throwing me awful, teasing looks. But then she said, “So, that was totally hilarious. I don’t know who I made blush more.”

  “Would you stop it?” I asked in a fierce whisper.

  “I doubt it.” Her eyes twinkled at me. “But I won’t tease you around Nick and Natalie, I promise, so relax. It’s not your fault Jake has a thing for you.”

  I swiped my debit card. “He does not. He flirts with lots of girls.”

  Beth looked surprised. “What? Jake? No way.”

  “Then why is he flirting with a girl who is already dating someone?”

  Her eyes twinkled. “Because he can’t help himself.”

  “Ugh
. Just stop. I have a boyfriend, Beth.”

  “Yeah, a boyfriend. Not a husband.”

  I glared at her and grabbed my two bags of groceries and two of hers, then walked off, knowing she’d follow. I would not let her put ideas in my head about breaking up with Nick. He didn’t deserve that. Just because some attractive, charming guy may or may not like me, I did not have to go doubting my relationship with Nick.

  When we got home, I put my few groceries away and disappeared into my room, wishing I could stay there until all this embarrassment and confusion went away. When someone knocked on my door not twenty minutes later, I groaned.

  “Come in,” I said, pretending to study the biology notes.

  Beth came in and grinned at me.

  “What?”

  She just laughed a little, covering up her mouth when I glared at her.

  “You’re starting to freak me out. What?”

  “Come see what Jake brought you.”

  “Huh?”

  I got up and followed her into the kitchen. Sitting on the counter was a full grocery bag. “What in the world?”

  “He just dropped it off and didn’t say a word except that it was for you.”

  I stood on my tiptoes to see into the bag. Right on top were bananas and a bag of grapes. I pulled them out and found deli meat and cheese, sandwich rolls, orange juice, and at the bottom, a tub of peanut butter fudge ripple ice cream.

  Beth watched me with curious, laughter filled eyes, but all I could do was shrug and stare back with wide eyes. I had no words.

  “Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever?” she asked.

  “Yes. It really is. And I have no idea what to do about it.” There were butterflies in my stomach though, and my heart beat was a little too quick. This was not helping my confusion any.

  “Do about it? Grab a spoon of course. And if you don’t mind, I’m going to grab one too.”

  Beth grabbed two spoons and handed one to me. Because I was still in shock, she opened the ice cream and dug in first.

  “He probably just feels bad that he can’t give me the job and he knows I’m low on funds.”

  “Does that make you feel better about this?” she asked.